Don't Care
by Shelly LeBlanc
Summary: When competing with your brothers, it is sometimes hard finding your place in your father's heart. Sometimes you just have to make room. Preslash.


I actually wrote this a few weeks ago, but my beta reader was super busy and just got it back to me. It's okay. Genius takes time, lol. A little note before you read this. It takes place before they meet April, so they are fourteen years old. And I did not mean for it turn out like this, but I'm considering it preslash. The characters just wanted to kiss though the whole thing…damn you…well, anyway. Enjoy.

Oh, beta'd by Mandy, who rocks, even if she is busy. She's a busy rockin' lady.

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The rain fell in hard torrents, the storm raged hard against the New York skyline. A lone turtle sat under a tarp overhanging, and watched as the world fell around him, musing on how it matched his feelings perfectly right now.

Raphael frowned as the rivets of water fell from the torn canopy, leaving barely enough room for him to remain dry. But he was a turtle; it didn't matter really, if he got wet.

He could picture Donatello now, lecturing that they were cold-blooded and shouldn't stay in the cold for long.

But right now, he didn't care about anything, or at least that was what he told himself, that he didn't care about Master Splinter and his father's need to control his rebel nature. He didn't want to care that his sensei's harsh words were only out of concern and caring, as much as he didn't care how much they still _hurt_. He also didn't want to care about the angered look in Leonardo's eyes, or the injured look in Michelangelo gave him when he shouted out equally harsh words back at their father before leaving.

He didn't want to care that he felt very alone right now.

_Denial,_ Don would have called it.

Raph huffed, trying to get his brothers and his father out of his head. He didn't need them right now; they didn't _understand_ him. Hell, he didn't understand himself.

Suddenly, the sound of rain falling down on concrete rooftops was joined by soft footsteps and Raphael knew he wasn't alone. His mouth tightened, knowing it was one of his brothers. Fourteen years of playing ninja had taught them all to recognize each other's footsteps, so no one would attack someone who wasn't a threat. Raph also knew who the brother would be, due to past experience.

Arguments between Splinter and Raphael were not uncommon, especially the past few years and every time Raph ran out, Leo was sent out to bring him back.

So Raph wasn't surprised when he felt, rather than saw, a piece of tarp being lifted up from where the rain had felled it and the silhouette of a turtle could be seen at the corner of his eye.

"I'm not in the mood, Leo," Raph stated, keeping his eyes in front of him.

"How convenient," a soft voice replied. Raph jumped a little and turned to look at Donatello with surprise. "He wasn't in the mood either."

Raph recovered quickly and his scowl returned. "You may be the wrong brother, but the meaning is still the same."

"Figures," Don said as he slipped under the tarp and sat beside his brother, still half in the rain. They sat in silence; Don mimicked his brother and stared out into the rain. Every now and again, Raph would look at the younger turtle out of the corner of his eye, pondering if he was going to speak anymore. If it had been Leo, the lecturing would have started by now and Raph would have to hold his temper in check while the elder would make comments on how Splinter was just trying to look out for him and that Raph should learn to control his emotions, that he was scaring his younger brothers by running out after every argument.

But Don appeared to be doing his lecturing the same way he did everything, quietly. Many moments passed, and the only sound that reigned was that of the rain, which seemed to be only getting worse. Then Raph felt a tremor and openly looked at the wet turtle. The brainy turtle was shivering slightly from both the cold and the rain, his knees tucked into his chest with his arms folded over them, trying to keep warm.

Raph frowned. Don had always been the one to get sick from the elements. He explained that his immune system was worse than his brothers, something about white bloods cells that Raphael didn't get. "You should get home before you get sick."

Don shrugged, still shivering. But Raph got the message, loud and clear. _I'm not leaving without you._

Raph stared out into the rain again, but no longer looking at it in its splendor glory, but the potential harm it could cause on his brother's immune system. He glanced at his brother again before sighing heavily. He scooted over as much as he could without getting wet before placing an arm around his brother's shoulders and pulling him close to him.

"Come here," Raph grunted as Don stared at him a little wide eyed before giving a grateful smile and snuggled Raph's neck. Raph sighed again, albeit softer and rested his chin on his brother's head. There was only a moment's pause before Raph started talking, telling his brother his thoughts and what was bothering him that night. Raph talked low and deep, with no interruption from either turtle or storm. He allowed all his hurt feelings and angry thoughts to be lost to the wind and found his anger dissipating, leaving him strangely drained.

The silence continued for a few minutes, as Donatello made sure that no more needed to be said before he commented. And when he finally did, it was with kind words and a smile.

"Sometimes people just need to let things get off of their chest instead of bottling things up," Don looked up at his brother's profile, glad that his brother wasn't as tense as he was earlier and now he was practically lying against a warm entity. "I argued with Leo that all you needed was a friendly ear, not more lectures."

Raph blinked and lifted his head, staring down in surprise. "You argued with Leo about me?"

Don chuckled. "Right after you left, he was about to head out to get you when I told him to not to lecture you."

Wow. Leo does not like to be told how to do his job. "What did he say?"

The quiet turtle paused a second, evaluating the question before he continued, but only after sensing only curiosity from his brother and not his earlier anger. "He said that you were overdramatic and an attention-seeking brat."

Normally, those words would have boiled Raph's blood, but Don's presence seemed to have a better affect than any words could. He snorted instead. "Me, overdramatic?"

"Yeah, those were my thoughts exactly." Don grinned, happy that things were going his way. Even the rain was starting to slow. "I told him that if he would stop and think about things from outside a leader's point of view for a second, he'd understand you more."

Raph frowned thoughtfully and moved his hand up and down his brother's arm, brushing the water off of it.

"You and him are more alike than either of you realize," Don continued when Raph didn't comment. "You guys are so protective of us and both of you want Splinter's attention."

Raph jerked a little and Don paused, looking up at his older brother. Fearing he may have said something wrong, Don started to move away but Raph's arm tighten its hold and the other one came up to join in holding his brother.

"You," Raph started but stopped and swallowed before continuing, "You think I want his attention?"

Don gave a little smirk before relaxing, "Come on, Raph. I'm the middle child too; I know how you feel. Leo's the eldest and the leader; he's Splinter's protégé. When Splinter's gone, Leo's the one who's going to look after us. Mike's the baby, and therefore gets the blunt of our worry and concern."

"Plus, he's an attention hog," Raph put in.

"Yes, very true," Don laughed, "You are stuck in the middle, overshadowed by Leo's leadership and Mikey's Mikeyisms. You feel that you have nothing to gain attention for yourself so you lash out. The only way you know how to garner Splinter's attention is by yelling. And I know you don't mean to," Don said, when he felt Raph inhale to comment, "It's just the way you are. I understand."

Raph pondered this for a moment. "And you? You're a middle child, too. But I don't see you screaming to get affection." Raph said, then felt like something was twisting his gut. "If fact, it's almost as if you were more ignored than paid attention to." The horror in Raph's voice was evident and Don squirmed around a little, so he could get his arms around his brother and squeeze.

"I'm not ignored," Don said softly, "I'm just as manipulative as the rest of you when it comes to getting attention. I made sure I was a put into a position that I was needed."

Raph blinked in confusion as he tried to understand what his brother meant before it dawned on him.

"Shell," Raph said, his voice a whisper as the thought sunk in. "The electronics, the medicine. That's for us."

Don shrugged modestly, burying his head further into his brother's neck. "I liked reading, so it was no problem learning such novel things, really. I just wish I didn't need to use it so much."

The tightness in Raph's chest had nothing to do with Donnie's arms. All that time he actually thought Don enjoyed learning all that stuff; he didn't think that there was anything other than his brother's thirst for knowledge was behind it. Now he understood why Don often preferred to read and learn than fight and play. It was for _them_. It was his way of making a place for him in their family.

Damn.

Raph tightened his hold on his brother, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry I never realized this before. You don't need to be our mechanic and our medic for us to love you."

Don scoffed lightly, "I know. It's just . . . sometimes it's great to be needed, and reminded that I _am_ needed . . ." He trailed off in silence as they watched the storm finally stop. It would be almost an hour before either of them spoke, or even moved, again. Finally, Raph gave Donnie one last squeeze before he loosened his arms and Don sat up straight.

"Well, we better get back to the lair," Raphael said, standing up before helping his brother up. "I need to apologize to Splinter."

"And get some time to him to yourself," Don commented with a smirk. Raph laughed, silently agreeing with him. They moved quickly from the rooftop to the street before slipping quietly into the sewers. Their trek back was as quiet the majority time they had been on the rooftop. They only paused once on their walk, and that was when Raph stopped to hold out his hand out to his brother, silently saying _'Thank you,'_ in which Don answered it with an equally silent, _'Always,'_ as he took it into his own hand.

The held hands all the way back home, and Raph really didn't care who saw.


End file.
